Is Summer Over?

So it has been an amazing summer. I know I have been bad at blogging. And I am so good at it.???? Really should be more activity from me I know...but I have been busy. And besides the truth is Facebook is a better diary. With all the tracking shit and everything. One thing I have attempted to do was change the name of this blog...But, I am going to need an executive from Google to achieve that...

Originally this was going to be my book. But then JP and I came up with a better idea for My Very Own Cooking Show. And although it was supposed to be launched on July 1 of 2010 we ran into all sort of hurdles. the kind of hurdles that lead to Our very Own Server. And with that came some new Linux challenges and a possible lawsuit. We will get it up and running. JP is a brilliant man and relentless as well. The key to launching this site is making sure it's done right. And I am confident that though much later than expected...it will be so much fun and perfect.

Meanwhile...back at the ranch....I have found a new niche! Swimmers!! I know right? It has sent me traveling around all of New England this summer with more trips to the southern states ( can't tell you how thrilled I am about that) this Autumn. Swimmers love rubber caps that are customized and tie die sweatshirts...so I have been manufacturing both. With the Godfathers money. The godfather you ask?

This man has pretty much saved my life. But there are repercussions as you can imagine. He is demanding...and he wont let me drink.... or sleep with the window washer....all though I do both.
He is an Italian icon here in Portland. And he runs his family and business as if it were really like a mafia. And right now I am on the top of the list. I am welcomed into the family even though I don't want to be. I have my own family. I have my mother and step dad that are the most powerful people in the world to me. They drive to Maine to see me and give me a lot of stuff I would not otherwise have on my own...They look after me at my old age and make sure I am okay. Then there is all my sisters I have who I will never know. The Cunninghams have pretty much dismissed me. And that's okay. I have the Guidi's. And the Cunninghams don't even compete. The Guidi's don't discriminate against gays...and serve really good food!!

Funny things that have happened this summer? Not a lot...I got kicked out of a taxi....due to running my management mouth. Had a friend visit from the UK. And the Godfather kept me to busy to enjoy it. Even put her to work.

The usual awkwardness is present. I flip an egg and it flips back over...that sort of thing...
I swam in the ocean and all I could think about was who else was peeing....(notice the who else)
Oh and I have discovered 'pressure cooking' and have been enjoying it immensely! And, I have a new texting husband potential...from back when I lived in the Berwicks...I am really excited to make him something to eat and then kiss him. (No pressure Mother fucker)

So Look out friends...My Very Own Cooking Show the web site is going to happen. And I apologize for the delay....but I am sure you can imagine the complications. Get your flip camera's ready and start filming your best cooking!!!

Love you all and thanks for everything!

Skunky event no it was not pot.

Hi Blog. I have not written in a while. But drama has once again pursued my day. So I thought I would share the story.

I woke up this morning feeling overly tired. I was up rather late drawing a chef's hat outline with broad strokes. I was miserable from the heat. And miserable that Dennis has to work in Lewiston this week. So I laid in bed did my cafe world duties and then transcended to the kitchen to see if there may be a drop of coffee around. There was. It might have been days old though. There are two coffee makers in the kitchen...and I can't follow the pattern. So I mixed a little Italian sweet cream and some ice and had a delicious better then coffee shop drink in my travel mug. Then I proceeded to get ready for work. Always when I leave for work I make my bed. And I did so this morning. Except I covered up my phone connected to it's charger. And I left with out it. I realized this once I was to far away to retrieve it. That was start of my day. How will I communicate with Dennis since he is a NON facebook man. But he does send about 10-15 text messages through out the course of a day.

Once I sat at my desk with out my cell phone I felt sick. I was suddenly very distracted. And despite my hearing loss could not hear a word anyone was saying. All I could think was how am I going to communicate with Dennis. And What if JP texts me to tell me the new site is ready to review. Then I thought about Brad. He is having hip replacement surgery today and Lalita is with him. And she does use facebook but not her cell phone. She hates it. How in the fuck am I supposed to get through my busy day with out access to phone numbers I don't even know?

But I did. I got through it. At the end of the day I ran for my room to get my phone. And alas 22 text messages between Lalita and Dennis. I felt calm again.

I also got a 'porch monkey" chair in witch to sit on for the porch. I like the porch very much. despite the traffic and the hot men that jog by. I decided it would be better if I had a chair to sit on. So I got one. And it was great!! I loved sitting in it. It was low and kept me out of the limelight. I could smoke with out the whole world seeing me. And after a day like I had with all the phone calls that needed to be made it was finally nice to hear from my mother.

She called to tell me about her new present. Her new travel computer. That my dad bought her before they leave for vacation. And one of those weeks will be here in Maine. YAY. And we are having a lovely chat. Very lovely chat. Suddenly CA comes out the door. "Did You see whats down here?" pointing behind the bush in front of the porch. "Huh" I reply. "Look Daisy found it!" I look over the railing to see a dead skunk laying there. "Oh Fuck" I said. "I called Joe." CA said.

Right away I said bye to mom and called 411 to get a hold of animal control. After reaching them I was informed that because it was on the property that it had to be dealt with privately. Great I thought. then I see Joe's truck coming up so I dash into the house.

Now Joe is 78 years old. A really nice man. Who gives me a lot of work. And I am thankful for it. He keeps my 1099 rolling on like a steam train. Really nice guy. So nice that I knew what was coming. That is why I dashed into my room. But it was not more then 5 minutes upon his arrival that he yelled into my window. "JOLE COME OUT HERE AND HELP ME" He pronounces my name wrong. "Joe, I am not dealing with the skunk...I am your graphic designer not your dead animal remover!" I reply. "JOLE I can't get the skunk onto the shovel...get out here and help me!!" he says.

Jesus Fucking Christ I think. So I go out. The skunk is still under the bush. "Scrape it out" Joe says. "Joe this is not a gay mans position at all I really don't think I can. But, Okay let me give it a whirl!" I fucking climb under the bush and start trying to shovel the skunk. It won't land soooo

Joe tells me to scrape it out from under the bush. "No." I say. I cant do it. Mean while I start puking. All over the place. My pepperoni and cheese ALL over the place. Joe is laughing so hard that I fear his ticker in his heart might fail. Meanwhile I do not find anything funny, so I scrape the skunk into the driveway. All the while puking my guts up, "let me get a plank" Joe says.

OMFG we finally get the thing on the shovel and he tells me to hold the bag. I am like "If you touch me with this fucking skunk I will die right here." He laughs. Then doesn't the fucking tail brush my arm as he deposit's it into the bag. I Puke again. he laughs again. I strip off my desiel jeans and favorite T-shirt and throw them into to the bag.

I take a scolding shower and wallow in my misery of the day.

I believe this bad Karma for forgetting my phone. Other wise I would have not been on the porch I love when CA showed me the skunk!

Dedant. Dedant. Deda deda....Dedant.

On today's episode of My Very Own Cooking Show...a surprise! The rehearsals did not include such a surprise of this nature. Even though I carefully planned and calculated each ingredient on my way home from work. There is always something lingering in the kitchen that just might come in handy! ANDY!
I suppose with my new work load I have been just a small smudge of a hint of LAZY in my very own kitchen studio. But, I knew tonight's menu was going to include one of my favorite piece's of meat. the grand old chicken thigh! And any one who watches the show knows that I prefer my thigh's to be ultra crispy...but with out all the extra ingredients most folks would use to make their thigh's as crispy as mine. But today!!! Low and behold! I offer you a most magical unforeseen ingredient to the ULTIMATE crispy chicken thigh's. If you want to pull this off in your OWN very own kitchen...here is the secret!

It has to be raining really hard!! ANd You have to forget to clean the counter tops with the weak bleach solution you would otherwise use...just before you leave for work in the morning...like you always do!! BUT OF COURSE! Why come home to those coffee cup rings on the counter! Leave them there! No worries...you can get to it later! THEN! Come home from an Ultra long day...and don;t forget that you can catch those coffee cup rings later on. AFTER the final clean up...Only after you finally get some of those Ultimate Crispy Chicken Thigh's settled into the bottom of your belly. And only then! Will this magic ingredient work!

First. As always.. just a cap full of olive oil to coat the chicken. Do not use more then a cap full...A-because it's expensive! B- because it is more then enough to coat 2 of my thigh's! So that equals 1 cap full of Olive Oil per every two thigh's. Beyond that it is your liking of salt and pepper. I always use cracked sea salt and measure as I crack. And tonight I happened to see a spice on the back of the shelf that I usually keep for certain shell fish boils. Old Bay Seasoning! So I sprinkled some of the red stuff around and gave it a minimal covering.

But Jowal?? You ask. How is THAT going to make them crispy? What about the batter? What about the bread crumb's? Old Bay Seasoning can't be the secret right?
RIGHT! But it was a great option for a fresh sort of flavor on a stormy damp night. And I am going to bet that at least 90% of my hometown viewers have the Old Bay Seasoning right there on their very own spice shelf too! And that is mainly in part of it's origin to the Chesapeake Bay.

So now we have a new twist on the Ultimate Crispy Chicken Thigh's! The way I make them crispy is actually very simple. And I know I have an advantage that most people don't here on My Very Own Cooking Show! But as long as you are creative! You will be fine.

I have the broiler on full blast. And my advantage is that the stove here on My Very Own Cooking Show allows me a much larger range of distance from my thigh's to the heat source. I can set my thigh's as much as 8 inches from the blazing red infra HOT source of energy. This allows me to cook them a bit slower then an average broiling experience. And in turn I can cook them long enough to ensure the meat is cooked all the way through and down to the bones of my thigh. I suppose 'chef's' would call this a FLASH method. But with a typical FLASH method you would Blaze your thigh's with high heat...and then reduce the temp after you achieve crispness to allow the meat to complete it's cooking. And you CAN use this method too. But, for the ultimate crisp with out charring the meat...try my method. Every broiler has settings to use that you can create a distance with. Use the furthest one. My thigh's were about 8 inches from the heat source. And on that setting I turned them ONCE after 25 minutes...allowed the other side to BLAZE for about 10 minutes just to get that extra crispness I long for on my thigh's...then turned the power off and let them rest in the broiler for another 30 minutes or so.

You will have to try this a few times to get it right. I, of course am a natural. Once you get passed the eye burning sting from the ever so hot metal that will surround YOUR very own kitchen. And then the the occasional smoke GUSHING from the vent and stove top...just enough to trip the smoke detector so that you have to go running at it with a dish towel that is spinning faster then the blades of a helicopter to disengage the loud piercing noise that has the whole city looking in your direction....

Then only then do you remove your thigh's from the broiler and set them aside to rest for a moment while you finish up any side dishes that you may desire with this delicacy...I chose steamed Broccoli florets. I pondered a cheesy pasta side...but after the long day I had and the LAZINESS I have succumbed to in the last few days....I was happy with just the protein and fiber!

And for that last minute ingredient...just for some added fiber AND protein...take a look at those succulent thigh's...squint and focus at the brownish black movement. Now once you realize. Maybe you can be as lucky as I was and the oven is still PIPING HOT! Reach for the power knob and turn the broiler back on. Look around at the whole army of ANT'S that is covering your counter top and stove top...and the plate with your thigh's. But DO NOT surrender! Toss your thigh's right back on to the broiling pan and SEER those ant's. Pour yourself a glass of wine and take a long hard gulp just before you withdraw your thigh's ... prepare your plate to look pretty...
Take a bite! Notice the added crunch! (that is probably just your imagination) MMMM SO Good are my Crispy Thigh's with a hint of Old Bay Seasoning and slight sprinkling of ANT'S!

CUT