I have been sifting through my archives looking for something to "Blagh"
I have not really had the time to write any new stuff BUT I am keeping really good notes.
This is a really old episode from when Steve and I first started living together. I figured
it will never make a publishing. I can laugh at it now. But at the time I was lividly beside myself.
Season 9 Episode 12-Chicken Cutlets and the Morning After:
On today's episode I offer what just may be one of my favorite meals in the world. It is basic and we all make them. At least I would like to think we do. It is pretty straight forward. I just use an egg wash that is half milk. Then Bread them up before frying them in about a 1/4 inch of oil. I MUST have mashed potatoes and corn with this meal. Just like a meatloaf...for me it just does not work with out the mashed potatoes and corn.
This is one of the first episodes that takes place no longer being single and living alone. Steve and I have decided it was time for us to live together. It just has gotten to that point. Deep inside I knew the most challenging part of this was going to be when I cooked. Already he keeps coming into the kitchen and disrupting. As excited as I was to serve him one of my favorite meals...it did not seem to be clear to him that he was 'unwelcome' in the kitchen while I was cooking. Either he was curious about the process or the smells...or he was drinking very heavy and had to keep 'refreshing his drink'. I finally explained to him that he would have to either take the bottle of Vodka with him back to the TV or nurse the drink until I was done cooking. He nursed the drink.
When I served dinner we sat down and smiled with glee. It was glorious. I was so happy to serve him such a meal. The one that I treasure. The one that makes my mouth water. So with refreshed drinks and finally seated. Comes this....
"Do we have Ketchup?" Steve asks with an innocent smile. My heart sinks into my feet. "For what?" I ask with a smile. "I should like some ketchup for my chicken cutlets please." he says with s silly smile.
I could feel my blood begin to boil. How could he dare smother these in ketchup? All this work and he is just going to DIP them in ketchup. "Stephen you may not destroy such a work of art with ketchup" I say firmly. "But I want Ketchup!" He replies.
"I am sorry I can not allow you to do that." I demand. "Just try it with out it first, see how it is!"
I offer. He stares at me blank. He lifts his knife. Cuts. Then he attempts to put a piece in his mouth. He puts it back down on the plate. "I really would like ketchup." he says. "FINE God dammit" I get up sternly and storm back to the kitchen. I reach for the bottle. And I just can not grasp it. So I look in the fridge. The best I can offer him is BBQ sauce. And even this kills me.
It killed more to watch him dump it on his plate. And then proceed to DIP his food into it. I was in a sweat. I could not sit still. But he did not notice. He just told me 'how yummy it was'.
We went to bed. It was all I could think about. But I dared not to mention it. I knew this was only the beginning. The start of a long culinary relationship with this new man. We had a new house. New Trucks. A new Dog. And Family on the way to visit. Why should I start off.
The next morning I awoke with a need to make breakfast. I made sure coffee was all set in the living room so that he did not come into the kitchen and interrupt my cooking show. I even called out to make sure he had enough sugar. "Yesso" he replied.
I served on the gifted dinner trays a plate of his favorite bacon and eggs over easy. I was sure to bring the ketchup as I was sure there would be a request. He smiled and said thank you very much. I smiled back.
As I retreated to the kitchen to fetch my own plate he hollers. "Can I have the mustard?" I paused. Took a deep breath. And I thought he must for sure be making a joke from the previous night. Little did I know he was not that clever. "Your fucking kidding me with this right Steve?"
I ask in a fit. "No" he says. So as I storm back with the mustard I slam it on his tray. "What are you going to do with that? Dip your fucking egg yolks in it?" I bark to him with a glare. He looks back up. "Calm down!! I like mustard with my eggs." he says. "Oh come the fuck on...who the fuck puts mustard in their eggs over easy???" I demand...."Don't you put it in your egg salad?" he asks me. "Well... Yes." I get coy. "Well thats where i got the idea!"he barks back.
