I woke up this morning feeling overly tired. I was up rather late drawing a chef's hat outline with broad strokes. I was miserable from the heat. And miserable that Dennis has to work in Lewiston this week. So I laid in bed did my cafe world duties and then transcended to the kitchen to see if there may be a drop of coffee around. There was. It might have been days old though. There are two coffee makers in the kitchen...and I can't follow the pattern. So I mixed a little Italian sweet cream and some ice and had a delicious better then coffee shop drink in my travel mug. Then I proceeded to get ready for work. Always when I leave for work I make my bed. And I did so this morning. Except I covered up my phone connected to it's charger. And I left with out it. I realized this once I was to far away to retrieve it. That was start of my day. How will I communicate with Dennis since he is a NON facebook man. But he does send about 10-15 text messages through out the course of a day.
Once I sat at my desk with out my cell phone I felt sick. I was suddenly very distracted. And despite my hearing loss could not hear a word anyone was saying. All I could think was how am I going to communicate with Dennis. And What if JP texts me to tell me the new site is ready to review. Then I thought about Brad. He is having hip replacement surgery today and Lalita is with him. And she does use facebook but not her cell phone. She hates it. How in the fuck am I supposed to get through my busy day with out access to phone numbers I don't even know?
But I did. I got through it. At the end of the day I ran for my room to get my phone. And alas 22 text messages between Lalita and Dennis. I felt calm again.
I also got a 'porch monkey" chair in witch to sit on for the porch. I like the porch very much. despite the traffic and the hot men that jog by. I decided it would be better if I had a chair to sit on. So I got one. And it was great!! I loved sitting in it. It was low and kept me out of the limelight. I could smoke with out the whole world seeing me. And after a day like I had with all the phone calls that needed to be made it was finally nice to hear from my mother.
She called to tell me about her new present. Her new travel computer. That my dad bought her before they leave for vacation. And one of those weeks will be here in Maine. YAY. And we are having a lovely chat. Very lovely chat. Suddenly CA comes out the door. "Did You see whats down here?" pointing behind the bush in front of the porch. "Huh" I reply. "Look Daisy found it!" I look over the railing to see a dead skunk laying there. "Oh Fuck" I said. "I called Joe." CA said.
Right away I said bye to mom and called 411 to get a hold of animal control. After reaching them I was informed that because it was on the property that it had to be dealt with privately. Great I thought. then I see Joe's truck coming up so I dash into the house.
Now Joe is 78 years old. A really nice man. Who gives me a lot of work. And I am thankful for it. He keeps my 1099 rolling on like a steam train. Really nice guy. So nice that I knew what was coming. That is why I dashed into my room. But it was not more then 5 minutes upon his arrival that he yelled into my window. "JOLE COME OUT HERE AND HELP ME" He pronounces my name wrong. "Joe, I am not dealing with the skunk...I am your graphic designer not your dead animal remover!" I reply. "JOLE I can't get the skunk onto the shovel...get out here and help me!!" he says.
Jesus Fucking Christ I think. So I go out. The skunk is still under the bush. "Scrape it out" Joe says. "Joe this is not a gay mans position at all I really don't think I can. But, Okay let me give it a whirl!" I fucking climb under the bush and start trying to shovel the skunk. It won't land soooo
Joe tells me to scrape it out from under the bush. "No." I say. I cant do it. Mean while I start puking. All over the place. My pepperoni and cheese ALL over the place. Joe is laughing so hard that I fear his ticker in his heart might fail. Meanwhile I do not find anything funny, so I scrape the skunk into the driveway. All the while puking my guts up, "let me get a plank" Joe says.
OMFG we finally get the thing on the shovel and he tells me to hold the bag. I am like "If you touch me with this fucking skunk I will die right here." He laughs. Then doesn't the fucking tail brush my arm as he deposit's it into the bag. I Puke again. he laughs again. I strip off my desiel jeans and favorite T-shirt and throw them into to the bag.
I take a scolding shower and wallow in my misery of the day.
I believe this bad Karma for forgetting my phone. Other wise I would have not been on the porch I love when CA showed me the skunk!
