You remember the story right? Of course you do! For the most part it has been a rather calm week. It was miserable weather wise. However, the weekend seems to be the first of the season full of sunshine and warm salty air. And I welcome this. Last spring in Maine, I did not see any sign of hope ( or grass ) until the blankets of snow on the ground started to thaw in the middle of May! So no real drama to report...BUT...it is still very early on Saturday. Anything could happen!
In general. I AM a morning person. I feel comfortable in my skin getting up as early as possible to get the day started. And to be honest. It really does not matter what time I fall asleep. I just wake up! It is rare for me to open my eyes and decide to "sleep in". I just cant do it. I envy the person who tells me they slept till 9 or 10 on a Sunday morning. The flip side of this...is getting to sleep.
I dread the task of falling asleep. Of course, for the better part of my adult life this was never a problem. The process of falling asleep and waking up did not apply to me. And it was better referred to as passing out and coming to. And some times I miss those nights. Especially last night. When just a benadryl and one glass of Lowland scotch proved NOT to be an effective sleep aid. It only confirmed...that I really just may be one of the bucket of crazies that I try so hard in life to steer clear of.
So when I signed the lease to my place here in the city of Portland. There were 2 things that I was unaware of not really knowing the city that well. One, About 3 blocks to the left of the building is the baseball field. Home of the Portland Seadogs. I assumed that because it was not the Red Sox...it really should not pose a problem. Two, across the street, on the other side of the (active) railroad tracks and just beyond a small body of water is Portland International Jetport. Not airport, jetport. Again I assumed that because it was a jetport...that it would not accomidate 747's and such. Only the likes of Martha Stewart, Patrick Demphsy(spelling?), and other famous part time residents of Maine would periodically dash into the 'jetport' using smaller private JETS!! PFFT yeah right!
Last night. I did not mind the roaring of the over head 747's and airbus traffic. The train never bothered me either. It reminds me of home to hear the train coming and the whistle in the distance. Not even the cheering screaming seadog fan's followed by a fantastic display of fireworks plus finale'....( I once again assume...they won!) Nope none of this kept me from dozing. I do not know if it is my substantial hearing loss...or what. But there is a MUCH larger problem that is keeping me awake tonight. And it is not just this night. It is every night.
The problem with being me, Jowal. Is that I can't ever seem to leave it alone. I can't have unanswered question's. I can't have a problem with out a solution. Initially, my solution to my falling asleep disorder was to just take off all of my clothes. But then, all it took was one slight move or adjustment and there it would be. Some other lump beneath me. A crease in the sheet that feels like a mountain growing under my ass. A feather out of place in the pillow stabbing me in the back of the head making me bleed so badly that now I can feel the blood running down my neck. Of course when I go to wipe the blood off there is nothing there. In an instant I am standing up...making the bed again. Smoothing out the sheets. Fluffing the pillows and lightly running my hand over all angles of it to make sure no feather's are sticking through. I know I know....Get a pillow with out feather's Jowal. I know.
"But there must be some other solution to this!" I have said to Lucy time and time again. There is no point in denying that Lucy is my shrink. And for the last 5 weeks she has been as patient as possible with me once a week. "You can't keep taking Benadryl to knock yourself out Jowal." she has said on more than one occasion. "Well what the hell am I supposed to do?" I yell. "I have tried EVERYTHING!. I have tried shrinking the sheets in the dryer just before bedtime!! Hell, in the past I have even tried ironing and starching the sheets directly on the mattress!!! I just don't know what else to do!" I plead. "Well if your not going to take the Ambion then there is only one other solution!" she fight's back. "What might THAT be?" I say, while quickly preparing my counter attack to shoot her 'solution' down..."Throw the sheets and pillow in to the trash and sleep without them!!!" she snarls...and leaves me speechless!
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