Blogging can be a rush for me. It works 2 ways. In one way I feel like I have to rush a post. Mainly because if you dont keep up with it and get things posted the same day...it sort of looses momentum. But the other way for me...it get's me busy on yet another full and complete essay for MVOCS. So even though this same story will most likely appear in MVOCS it will be much more juicy and complex in the book. That's it complex.
Ok so. How did I end up in Church today? I recently befriended an elderly lady at the soup kitchen where I have been doing extensive volunteer work. Even though this has been a rewarding experience...and even lead me to commit criminal acts... I still crave to meet new people every day. Especially the ones who are full blown buckets of crazies. Her name is TJ. I do not know what it stands for. She is I am guessing about 65-70 years old. I never ask a lady her age. She has taken very kind to me when I am out on the floor and loves telling me how wonderfull I am. She ask's me all the time why I have not become some sort social worker because I am charming and delightful but yet have the ability to "provide leadership and keep people from arguing." (her words not mine) I explain to her that this is more of a management style that I have aquired over the years more than an abilty to guide other human beings, as this could be potentialy life threatning. TJ is also homeless. She is apparently running from her children back in Pa because she does not want to be subjected to assisted living and loose all of her pensions and what not. I can can respect this. But she also tries to convince me that the people at the shelter drug her every night to make her stop speaking the words of god that pass through her very soul. This I take with a grain of salt. Obviously.
So yesterday she cornered me and told me about her new church. She asked me several times through the course of the morning if I would join her. Of course I declined. Not really giving a reason, but just trying to be as polite as I could. But she was relentless in her begging. Telling me they would give her free food and "stuff". She even offered me any soda that she would aquire because "God does not allow her to drink it." But the final plea is what dragged me to say yes. How was she to carry all this food back to the shelter? Uggg "OK" I said.
Of course. This kept me up most of the night. After I returned from my gala evening with the "April Stool's Day" gang. I tossed and turned all night. Worrying myself sick that I had agreed to do this. I do not know the last time I have been in a church. Oh wait yes I do...Ireland 1998 St. Peter's. But it was surely not to see a ceremony of any sort. So when I finally got out of bed at 6 am. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself. "What the fuck have you done now Mr. Schermerhorn?" I noticed that my hair was getting longer and starting to curl again. So that will be my excuse for lathering up my goat t and shaving it right off. 7 months of hard growing and trimming and manicuring POOF...Gone...Was it a fear of god?
As Tj and I approached the "church". I noticed the sign read 'GOD CARES FOR YOU Welcome to First Assembly of God'. "What the fuck is this TJ? It doesn't look like a church there are now bell tower's" I said. "Oh SUSHHH" she said. By 8:30 we were seated in the basement for "bible study". We were sitting at tables set around in the shape of a U. So that the person conducting this could stand in the middle and read. As I looked around I noticed several people had either tinted lenses or sunglasses on. One or the other. I thought, brilliant idea. These people will be sleeping and no one will ever know it. I fumbled through my laptop sack looking for my sunglasses. NOTHING! I could not find them. Checked my jacket pockets....and alas...found my 70's style chester the molester over sized sunglasses. I immediatly put them on. Perfect, I thought. Now the best I can hope for is that snakes will be pulled from burlap bags and the fun stuff will begin. But that didn't happen. No snakes. No blood. Nothing. Just Jesus. I tried to doze off and utilize the sole pupose of the shades. But something in me believed that the snakes would still be let out of the bag.
An hour later after coffee and small talk. TJ and I were escorted up stairs to the "Temple?" Here I expected no snakes but happy and joyous singing and clapping.
But that will have to be Part 2. It has become very sunny here at the harbor and I can no longer see the screen of my lappy. I have a hot date tonight so it may even have to wait till the morning before I can wrap this up...So till then!!! Cheerio
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