So... After a huge change in my daily routine since being on the farm, today I decided I should like to take an early shower. Lately I have been showering in the evening after getting filthy dirty in horse shit or what not on the farm. I wanted today to be different. I had no desire to do any type of physical work today - horse shit or anything else.
So in order to secure this desire of mine, I decided to take a shower around 10am or so. Now, any one who knows me at all knows how very particular I am during my private moment with the gushing water. (or any other moment I have to my self for that matter). OK? We know this about me right?
So after drenching myself in the trickling not so gushing water pressure at the farm. I follow my normal routine and reach for my very invigorating bottle of Avalon Organics Revitalizing Peppermint Shampoo enriched with Babassu oil and apply it to my now over grown head of hair. I work the Revitalizing shampoo deep into my scalp till I feel glorious tingle that develops on my scalp begin to blossom. Oh I just adore the fresh tingling of my peppermint with babassu oil revitalizing my scalp. And I am completely confident that this is actually revitalizing not just my scalp...but my entire existence. I know this because I can feel all the magic happening right on top of my head. Not just because the bottle claims this fact.
There, now you know JACK.
Once I have achieved a satisfactory level of tingling invigoration on my scalp, I move on to the next phase of my quality time with running water. (I rinse my Scalp as a final step to maintain and even increase the level of revitalizing sensations to my scalp.)
Now, I bow down to get my second favorite shower product. This would be the more masculine Every Man Jack|Body Wash|Cedar wood
I like this stuff because I love the smell of cedar. Hence my love of Cedar closets and Cedar trunks...I figured it would be equally wonderful to have my balls smelling like a cedar closet. Oh and even better!!!, this Body Wash also claims to improve your karaoke skills.
Anyhow, as it turns out I was very disappointed to realise that my Every Man Jack Cedar wood Scented body wash was running low. SO of course I had to ponder this. My ultimate conclusion was that I needed to preserve what was left of my Every Man Jack so that I could have Cedar wood scented balls for a "getting laid" date I have planned later on in the week. So I looked around the shower for an alternative. The bars of soap that were present were out of the question. I am way to Germaphobic to even touch a bar of soap that someone else has touched let alone wash myself with one. I poked around at the other bottles but they were all "non-organic" shampoos that have no revitalizing qualities at all. Then there it was. My trusty good ole' bottle of Peppermint enriched with babassu oil revitalizing shampoo. Hm, I thought. This stuff lathers up pretty good. Why limit revitalization to only my scalp? So before I could say stop and think about this a little further There I was lathering up my arm pits. AND OHHHHH it was equally invigorating as my scalp revitalization's. However, it didn't quite lather up enough to make it down to my lower regions. So of course because the lower regions in my germophobic world are much more filthy and need of cleansing than anywhere else, I poured out a whole hand full of the peppermint shampoo enriched with babassu oil and began the journey of lathering up my crotch.
WOW.
Holy FUCK.
I actually WHooooooed like a little girl being handed costume jewelry. OUT LOUD!! My Ass, Taint, and Pecker were all being revitalized at one time. I felt dizzy. But at the same time ever so gently invigorated. I was gasping for a breath. My God, I thought. How could I not have thought to revitalize my crotch before? How could this have slipped my mind?
It was then and there, as I rinsed away all my botanical bliss. That an old classic country song crapped into my heady head. God Bless the Oak Ridge Boys I thought to my self. As I slightly changed the lyrics a bit.
"Ba BA Ba BA Babassu, I MA MA MA MA Want to marry you"
